Here's some theatrical humor to start the week:

An Actor's Guide to Performance:

Hold for all laughs---real, expected, or imagined! If you don't get one, face front and repeat the line louder. Failing this, laugh at it yourself.

Cultivate an attitude of hostility. Tension gets results---on stage and off.

Do not listen to your fellow actors on stage. It will only throw you.

Do not look at them either---you may not like what you see.

If a line isn't working for you, change it.

Never be afraid to ad-lib to get attention, especially if you feel the leads aren't very entertaining.

Mistakes are never your fault.

Always find something to bitch about, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Your fellow actors will respect your professional attention to detail.

Do help your fellow actors by giving them notes whenever you feel necessary.

And give the notes immediately before they go on---it will be fresher that way.

Speak your lines as if the audience had difficulty understanding the language.

Keep other performers on their toes by ridiculing their performances, and never let them know what you're going to do next.

Play the reality---always be aware of the audience and whether you think they like the show, then gauge your performance accordingly. Why knock yourself out for ungrateful snobs?

Need a character? Get a costume.

When in doubt about an ad-lib, go "whoo"!

Go up on a line? Clap twice, look at the audience, and giggle.

(from: www.madstage.com)